Put yourself back to today, a year ago, in 2022. Without looking at the calendar, what did you do that day? Can you recall it? Do you remember what you did, felt, and experienced that day? Who you talked to and spent time with? What did you eat? Probably not.
Well, I cheated, and January 11th, 2022, was a Tuesday, and all I found was that I was in my mentor call for my 2-year mindfulness meditation teacher training that I will complete in eleven days 🥳. I have also been journaling for some time and found my entry for that day which wasn't much, and it indicated that my son was returning to school after he had to stay home because I had Covid. How could I forget?
Unless we have something that will help us remember, like a calendar, a journal, or a picture, most experiences will come and go, and we won't even remember; the more reason to practice mindfulness and be in the present moment 😉. That's for a later time. First, I want to reflect on what the last year has brought to me and how we can move through life with more awareness, agency, and overcoming fear; fear of mistakes, fear of loss, fear of disappointment, fear of vulnerability, fear of who we are.
We finished our final mentor group meeting yesterday, and when we reflected on what we learned, I discovered a lot about myself and how being in a tight group that meets bi-monthly for two years could bring challenges. The learnings I want to share is a conclusion on what makes us human. I loved our sharings so much that I saw human life with a new set of eyes. I hope you will see it, too:
We all have beauty, love, care, and an array of emotions at the core of our foundation. When we grow up, many experiences and situations can bury that beauty inside us. We build walls and safe spaces that don't allow us to let our core shine through because we are afraid of who we and others will find. We do anything to stay comfortable and believe it to be easier. What I discovered is that it makes life much harder. It doesn't allow us to evolve as much because the walls are too high and too thick to let the love shine through. Instead, we use all the energy to distance ourselves, resist and refuse change, stay stuck in our old ways of being, and build a higher and stronger wall when we could use the energy to understand ourselves better. I also found that when we allow those walls to be removed brick by brick, we let other people see our light again. It will allow us to see who we are without changing who we are in our hearts, and most importantly, WE start embracing who we truly are.
As I look at this girl about 19 years ago at Montauk, I don't remember what day it was. I recall that it was after a funeral, and my now-spouse and I wanted to walk along the coast around the tip, and at some point, we had to turn around as the tip never came, and the sky became darker. Instead of searching and reaching for an outcome a year from now, where we want to be, what we want to accomplish, who we want to be with, and getting around that tip. We might focus on the journey that we are on and use our energy to take down those walls one brick at a time to uncover how far we have come without realizing it.
And coming back to why practicing mindfulness and being present in the moment can be our guide? It's to savor the moments we have now because we probably won't remember them all, yet our hearts will increase in love, compassion, care, and beauty, and we will continue to evolve on our journey called life with awareness.
I wish you a beautiful and loving 2023.
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